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Thanksgiving Jokes

Everyone likes a good laugh. Everyone likes making others laugh. Here is a collection of Thanksgiving Jokes that are sure to please. While you are gathered around the holiday dinner table you will always have something to say if you memorize a few of these holiday jokes. If you have another Thanksgiving Day joke you would like to see posted here, please email it to the webmaster.

If April showers bring May flowers what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!

Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"?
Because they never learned good table manners!

Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play.

Why did the Indian chief wear so many feathers?
To keep his wigwam.

Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks.

Why should you keep your eye off the turkey dressing?
Because it makes him blush!

Why do turkeys always go "gobble, gobble"?
Because they never learned good table manners!

How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
I'll tell you at Christmas.

Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.

What key has legs and can't open doors?
Tur-key.

What happened when the turkey met the axe?
He lost his head!

Teacher: "Why did the Pilgrims sail to America?"
Student: "Maybe they missed their plane."

Teacher: "Why do we have a Thanksgiving holiday?"
Student: "So we know when to start Christmas shopping!"

Why can't you take a turkey to church?
Because they use such FOWL language!

If the Pilgrims were alive today,
what would they be most famous for?
Their AGE!

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Arthur.
Arthur who?
Arthur any leftovers?

How can you tell a male turkey from a female turkey?
The male is the one holding the remote control.

What do you call the dirt on a Pilgrim's hands?
Pilgrime!

What is your favorite thing to make for Thanksgiving dinner?
Reservations!

What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!

Why didn't the turkey eat dessert?
He was stuffed!

What's blue and covered with feathers?
A turkey holding its breath!

What cat discovered America?
Christofurry Columbus!

Why was the monster tickled when he ate the turkey?
Because he forgot to pluck the feathers!

Did you hear about the gobbler who bounced around the barnyard?
He was a perky turkey!

What's the best way to stuff a turkey?
Take him out for pizza and ice cream!

If April showers bring May flowers what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!

Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.

Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"?
Because they never learned good table manners!

What sound does a space turkey make?
Hubble, hubble, hubble.

Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play.

Why did the Indian chief wear so many feathers?
To keep his wigwam.

Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks

What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian?
He had an arrow escape.

'Twas the night of Thanksgiving,
but I just couldn't sleep...
I tried counting backwards,
I tried counting sheep.
The leftovers beckoned...the dark meat and white,
but I fought the temptation with all of my might.
Tossing and turning with anticipation,
the thought of a snack became infatuation.
So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door
and gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore.
I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
stuffing with gravy, green beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground.
I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky
with a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie
But, I managed to yell as I soared past the trees...
Happy eating to all -- pass the cranberries, please.

Personalized Letter Making Program An automated program for making highly personalized holiday letters. About 200 letters to choose from. Kids LOVE getting personalized holiday mail. GBNA makes a portion of the funds raised by this program.

Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving," a student wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."

A turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey.
His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there were never enough legs for everyone. After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his efforts to his friends at the general store get together. "Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has 6 legs!"
They all asked the farmer how it tasted.
"I don't know" said the farmer. "I never could catch the darn thing!"

The Grant Beach Neighborhood Betterment Association is a group of citizens working together to maintain and improve the quality of living in our area. We meet monthly on a regular basis to address neighborhood concerns, and encourage residents to start smaller neighborhood watch groups in their block. We believe that people should actively participate as citizens in a democracy and as neighbors in in a community. We are a group of citizens interested in working together to maintain and improve the living quality of our neighborhood, motivate the city to address our concerns, be a spawning ground for neighborhood watch programs and build a sense of community among us. Working together, there is little that cannot be done, working apart there is little that can be done.

Mission Statement: "Improving the quality of life in our neighborhood"

This website is simply a tool we use to help keep our neighbors connected to each other, to their neighborhood and to their City of Springfield, Missouri. Please consider attending the monthly meeting. Potluck Dinner for the whole family and Free child care for the meeting

Email Webmaster with your thoughts or ideas for this website.

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